The Gift of Shared Presence
The Transformative Gift of Shared Presence
It was during a significant time of transition into a new season of pastoral ministry several years ago I came to profoundly understand the gift of shared presence. On one hand, my longstanding connection with the community and the relationships I’d built made the transition feel natural, more like passing a baton than beginning anew with an unfamiliar team. This sense of continuity brought reassurance both to those around me and to myself.
However, transition rarely goes smoothly; in my first year, several valued colleagues left for new opportunities, resulting in a noticeable silence and loss of camaraderie. The solitude deepened into a persistent ache as I navigated heavier decisions without the team I was used too, mourning both their support and friendship. Facing new responsibilities in new ways made adapting more emotionally challenging.
It was in this space of change that I encountered a gifted listener—a friend who offered a different kind of companionship. We couldn’t erase the feelings of loss, nor was there an immediate solution to the ache I carried. Instead, we chose to honor those feelings, creating space to pay attention to them rather than rush past them. This process of attentive presence invited important questions: How was I shouldering new responsibilities without the comfort of old friends? In what ways did this impact my ability to lead and engage with those who remained under my pastoral care? Was I able to sense Jesus’ presence with me in this solitude? What did His nearness feel like amid the grief and uncertainty? How did His grace manifest in my ministry and daily life? Where did sorrow make itself known, and where did moments of joy break through? What conversations was I being invited into with Jesus during this time?
As I practiced shared attentiveness to Jesus’ loving presence, I experienced a gradual lifting of the burden I carried. The shift wasn’t due to any change in external circumstances; my reality remained the same, but my approach to navigating it transformed. The companionship of someone who empathized with my sense of loss meant that I didn’t have to face these emotions alone. This relational space allowed me to process my grief authentically, enabling me to recognize and receive the unexpected gifts this season of life afforded. The presence of a caring friend created room for honest reflection, and in that space, healing began to emerge—not as an instant fix, but as a gentle unfolding.
Most importantly, my friendship with Jesus grew deeper through intentional spiritual practices that enabled me to experience Him as a companion amid all of life’s circumstances. Creating space for small retreats became an essential rhythm, offering opportunities for meaningful conversations with Jesus that were both restorative and grounding. Journaling, too, became a way to pay attention to and process my emotions, helping me respond to them thoughtfully rather than react impulsively. Listening to scripture through Lectio Divina breathed new life into the Word, making it a living dialogue rather than a static text. Engaging in community practices provided opportunities to build supportive relationships and reminded me that healing and growth often occur in the context of togetherness. Ultimately, it was the gift of shared attentiveness—both with God and others—that marked the turning point in my experience of this transitional season.
Community: The Soil of Spiritual Friendship
My journey revealed a truth that is often overlooked: friendship with Jesus flourishes within the soil of community. Even when seeking Jesus in deeply personal circumstances, it is often through the doorways of relationship that His presence is most profoundly experienced. From the very beginning, God declared, “It is not good for man to be alone!” (Genesis 2:18). We are designed for relationship, created to reflect the communal nature of the God who exists eternally as Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. God’s desire to create us arose not from a need for company but as an overflow of the love eternally shared within the Trinity.
In direct reflection, one way we express our love for God is through the way we engage with others in community. Paul describes the community of Jesus in Romans 12:15, urging believers to “Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.” Similarly, in Galatians 6:2, he speaks of fulfilling Christ’s law of love by bearing one another’s burdens. These passages emphasize that spiritual friendship and community are not merely about shared activity but about sharing life—its joys, sorrows, and burdens—in a spirit of attentive presence.
The Ministry of Attentive Presence
Spiritual Director and Psychologist David Benner offers a powerful insight into the nature of spiritual friendship. He reminds us that sometimes the most meaningful form of community is simply a shared, attentive presence. Benner writes, “Spiritual friendship is not primarily a matter of doing certain things. Often, in fact, it is precisely the opposite of doing; it is the gift of not doing—not interrupting, nor attempting to solve problems, not prematurely or inappropriately advising, not assuming that what has worked for us will work for others. Stated positively: spiritual friendship is a gift of hospitality, presence and dialogue.” (Sacred Companions: The Gift of Spiritual Friendship and Direction)
This kind of friendship is marked by the willingness to simply be with one another, regardless of the season of life. By offering undistracted attention and a safe space for honest conversation, we open the door for God’s presence to dwell in our midst. In moments of gentle accompaniment, burdens are lightened and joys magnified, revealing that true spiritual friendship is not about fixing but about faithfully walking alongside each other. The gift of shared presence is about hospitality—a welcoming of one another’s stories, struggles, and celebrations without judgment or haste.
Spiritual Direction: A Sacred Space for Presence
It is for these reasons that I hold a deep belief in the ministry of spiritual direction. Spiritual direction creates a sacred environment where the gift of attentive presence can flourish. Within this gentle space, both the spiritual director and seeker are invited to listen deeply—not only to each other but also to the quiet stirrings of God’s Spirit. This attentive companionship doesn’t rush to fix or resolve; instead, it honors the complexity of each season and the mystery of God’s movement within it.
In the practice of spiritual direction, there is room for honest conversation, reflection, and prayer. Burdens can be named and joys celebrated without fear or pretense. Through this practice, we discover that spiritual friendship—rooted in shared presence—opens our lives to transformation. It reminds us that we journey together in the loving presence of God, and that healing companionship may not alter our outward circumstances but can profoundly change the way we carry them. Friendship with Jesus is deepened in this process, and the ministry of spiritual direction becomes a place where we experience the gentle, transformative power of being truly seen, heard, and accompanied.
Invitation to Shared Presence
As I reflect on my own story, I am reminded that shared presence is both a gift and a calling. Jesus invites us into practices that cultivate attentiveness—practices that help us pay attention to His loving presence and to the presence of others in our lives. Whether through spiritual friendship, small retreats, journaling, or listening to scripture, we are invited to open ourselves to the healing and transformative power of attentive companionship.
This week, consider how Jesus might be inviting you into a practice of shared presence within your community. Is there a story in your life where shared attentiveness could open new doors of healing and friendship with Jesus? What might it look like to offer the gift of undistracted attention to someone who is struggling or rejoicing? How might your own journey be transformed by the simple act of being present—not to fix, but to faithfully walk alongside?
In a world often marked by haste and distraction, the gift of shared presence is a countercultural act of love—a way of honoring the sacredness of each moment and each relationship. Through attentive companionship, we participate in the healing work of God, discovering anew the depth of spiritual friendship and the transformative power of being truly present, both with Jesus and with one another.